Wren was doing this 5 seconds ago. Luckily I had the camera nearby to document it. Soon afterwards she became enraged with the shoe and flung it (ineffectually, because she's not strong) away. The picture reminds me of a story from one of the Narnia books; the people were called plodders or ploppers or something? with the one giant foot? I thought that was pretty creepy when I was a kid.
Now she's playing with the 'sit n' spin' or as it's known around here, the 'sit n' sit' or the 'stand n' fall over.' Yeah she hasn't really caught on. I don't think she has the upper body strength. Various members of our household have tried valiantly to demonstrate the basics. If you haven't seen a group of supposedly grown men trying to turn themselves in circles on a tiny plastic toy, drop by sometime. When they sit and wedge their legs under the top, yoga style, with their butts hanging off the edge of the seat, Wren seems intrigued, or maybe amused. But it hasn't disuaded her from thinking that it's a toy to stand on and leap off of, usually onto the tile floor.
Also, moments ago, she discovered the volume control on her drum. I'm all for development, but I was hoping volume control and on/off location finding skills would be waaaaay after potty training. Like maybe they teach you in Driver's Ed. I don't think I should have to deal with high volumes AND poop, is what I'm saying. One or the other.
Also in New Tricks, Wren has discoverd door locks. Her favorite door lock is the one on the inside of Arkay's bathroom. The lock in the house for which we have no key, OF COURSE. If the door is EVER open, she runs for it, turns around and slams and locks the door. 1-2-3. This has happened so many times that I keep a variety of lock picking paraphenalia outside that door in a little box. There's a wire hanger, a bamboo skewer, and my favorite, an old credit card. I'm a pro now, and to keep me on my toes, I have the knowledge that inside the bathroom, there's an unlocked cabinet at Wren-height with ant spray, bleach and razors oh-my. So what I'm saying is, I'm fast. Not a skill I would have associated with motherhood, but I'm sure it will continue to be useful throughout my life.
Wren has a nasty cold right now, and all the "get out of the house and talk to adults" groups I'm in take a strong stand against getting other people's kids sick. When I say strong I mean like Intifada strong. There could be uprisings. So we're quarantined until her hacking cough and runny nose go away. One new piece of information gleaned- Wren is in that tiny percentage of the population for whom psuedophedrine does not act as a downer, but rather as an upper. UPPER. Like maybe I know why they use it to make meth. It's heartbraking to see such a sad sick baby tearing around the house in the helpless grip of a crazy-making drug. I checked out Whole Foods for the non-crazy-making granola drugs, but they're all honey based, and according to the APA, she's too young for honey. When I had a sore throat my grandma always gave me bourbon and honey. I don't think she worried that I was too young for either.
Lazlo got a little sick but bounced back quickly, and I seem to have escaped altogether. I attribute my continued good health to the 10-2-4 rule of Diet Coke/ Diet Dr. Pepper consumption.
Wren is eating chapstick again. I'd better put a stop to that.
I couldn't sleep last night. Do you ever get that thing when you're trying to go to sleep and the same word or song just keeps going through your head over and over again? Well, as I was trying to slip the bonds of consciousness my brain refused to stop doing to a line-by-line critique of the song "You're So Vain." Also, my brain thought it was a really good idea to blog this critique of the song.
So, without further delay:
You're So Vain
by Carly Simon
You walked into the party
Like you were walking onto a yacht
Surely this line is intended to conjure up an image of a cocksure dandy exuding grace, with the yacht serving as a connection to the world of wealth and fame. However, as someone who has walked onto a yacht more than once, I can say that people usually look quite awkward when stepping onto a largeish boat. The waves and the boat's movement and all that means that you usually stand there timidly and lurch onto it, or brashly hop from the dock to deck. Not the image I think Carly intended.
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror
As you watched yourself gavotte
Gavotte? What does that mean? I'm pretty sure it says "go by," but who am I to question carlysimon.com? My concern is this man's complete lack of concern for safety! Whether he's walking or dancing "a dance of French peasant origin marked by the raising rather than sliding of the feet" (according to m-w.com), his one unobscured eye is in the mirror, and not on his surroundings. That's more reckless than vain.
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner, and
Well, that might explain the "gavotte" line. I assumed the song meant sexual partner. Apparently I'm the big perv for thinking this song about a seafaring dandy's love for French peasant dances was actually about sex. But back to the hat; what's the strategy exactly? Was it once considered the height of attractiveness to hide one eye under your hat?
You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?
I remember hating this song when I was younger because I thought Carly was criticizing me personally, and quite wrongfully. Hey lady, I don't think this song is about me. But the part that made me hate the song was realizing that by thinking that, I did think the song was about me. I didn't really know what vain meant, so that part didn't bother me.
You had me several years ago
When I was still quite naive
Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved
And one of them was me
Aside from the last line, he doesn't sound like such a bad guy. Is giving away things you love a sign of vanity too now, like thinking that songs are about you? I thought giving was a sign of selflessness (and thinking songs are about you is a sign of psychotic paranoia, but I digress). And what does "one of them was me" mean, anyway? Who or what did he give Carly to? The only ways I can think of a person "giving" another "away" would be: (1) at a wedding, when a father gives away his daughter, or (2) in the case of slavery. I don't think either applies here.
I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and
This is the phrase that kept echoing in my head last night. What does it mean? Clouds are sometimes a metaphor for a fleeting moment or feeling. I could see that. But in her coffee? That makes me think she's talking about milk, which is more difficult as a metaphor for a vanquished ambition. Is she saying that her dreams were stirred into the coffee and swallowed? By Carly Simon herself?
Well, I hear you went up to Saratoga
And your horse naturally won
So he's lucky. Not much he can do about that.
Then you flew your Lear jet up to Nova Scotia
To see the total eclipse of the sun
And he likes nature, and is very wasteful. I suppose that's the first real sign of vanity in this song. Wikipedia has an intriguing note:
Two sun eclipses took place in Nova Scotia in the early 1970s. The first eclipse, in 1970 (March 7th), was visible in the USA, but the second one, in 1972 (July 10th), was not. The line "I hear you went up to Saratoga and your horse naturally won," refers to the Saratoga Race Course meeting held in late July, August and early September in Saratoga Springs, New York.
So this event must have taken place on July 10th, 1972. (The song was recorded in September or October of that year.)
Well, you're where you should be all the time
And when you're not, you're with
Some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend
And then she married James Taylor on November 3, 1972. People who think this song is about James Taylor are stupid. How likely is it that she would write a song about what a vain, lucky, nature-loving, adulterous, peasant-dance-loving, eye-obsuring bastard James Taylor was a month before marrying him? (Also, would James Taylor ever have had enough money to own a Lear jet?)
Same goes for people who think it's about Mick Jagger. He sings with Carly on the song. I doubt that he didn't know what the rest of the words were. The line about Saratoga would be a big tipoff if it were about him.
In conclusion, you will see that "You're So Vain" is (a) more about a jerk than an egotist (b) a song with some poorly-conceived images and (c) largely misinterpreted.
Goodbye, and good luck.
