Come thou long expected Jesus...

I love Christmas and the whole advent season. It was really nice to be home in Texas for the start of the holidays, although that's not to say I'm not overjoyed to be back in Cali. It was funny being stuck in the Salt Lake City airport for hours wandering from gate to gate in search of flights to LA. It was like every weird or unusual person in SLC was vying for a seat on a plane to our great city. It felt nice to be among them.

Rather than post 14 times with detailed updates about all that has transpired since last I blogged, I'll just make a list of interesting/embarassing incidents or occurences, and you can ask for exigesis on your favorites when you next talk to me.

1. Wren wakes up at 4 am these days, and tries to go to sleep around 6 at night. This makes things interesting.
2. I decorated the weird tentacley pine tree in our front yard with lights and ornaments but it looks like I stood 10 ft away on a ladder and threw clumps at random.
3. When reaching into the airplane aisle after a dropped toy, I was hit on the head with the large metal drink cart. I'm pretty sure every person on the plane knew about it within moments, and the flight attendants continuously asked if they could bring me ice. The man next to me told me to find a lawyer, and my seat mate on the other side wrangled a free vodka because, "you hit my friend with that cart..."
4. I secured a lovely art deco chest of drawers for Wren, and some fun Frankhoma ware for me, from my grandmother's estate.
5. Wren is totally mobile now, and can actually pull up to standing whenever she wants. Our house is woefully unprepared.
6. Ramona threw up in the car at the end of her 23 hour ride to Austin, allegedly due to Col. Rhombus's bad driving.
7. On their honeymoon, Melio and Mosesface attempted to "do it" in a cave, but were foiled by a group of obese tourists who lagged behind the group.
8. My grandmother Alley's ancient neighbor, Mrs. Lee, who speaks mostly German, insisted on bringing her chainsaw to Alley's house to singlehandedly cut and drag the giant pine tree out of her swimming pool. I looked out the window to see Alley delicately balanced on one end of the monstrous trunk over the pool, serving as a counterbalance as Mrs. Lee furiuosly attacked the branches.
9. I can definitely not hold my liquor if it's in tequila form. I'm a lush. Apologies all around (and especially to poor poor Chet).
10. I purchased a pack-n-play for $15 (SCORE!) from the coolest store in my hometown- the Treasure House. I also got to hang with the store's manager and the matriarch of my favorite family, the Rushes. I wish I could have spent more time at their kitchen table playing rummicub and eating cookies.
11. Wren and I hitched a ride from Beaumont to Austin with Stands with a Fist and her on/off boyfriend Jerusha. We took one of my family's fleet of Oldsmobile Cutlass Cieras. The ride was made more interesting by the malfunction of a children's puzzle that my mom gave the baby. At random intervals it emitted sceechy animal sounds (frog, cat, fish, and what appears in the picture to be guinea pig..?) and almost startled us off the road a few times.
12. In what will go down as one of my most shameful memories, I said a certain 9 letter word starting with 'C' in front of Melio's grandmother on the morning of his wedding, at a Bridal Brunch held in honor of Mosesface. I didn't know Grandma was there, but that's no excuse. Oh, the shame.
13. It's sad that for three days Lazlo and I had total unlimited babysitting and instead of making out in the back of a movie theatre or going to a fancy schmancy restaurant, we worked like dogs planning, setting up for, and participating in a wedding.
14. Mosesface was absolutely radiant and stunning. Melio was dashingly handsome in his vest. They seemed glittery and larger than life. As M-Rhod said at the time, singing with them at the wedding was like "being in heaven". We had a great time. Mazel-tov.

In "back at home" news, we'll be having a little get together soon to celebrate the end of the quarter and Lazlo's last year in the mid-20s. I'm sure you're all invited, but you'll have to leave if you make fun of my Christmas tree.