Hiccups

and other things that will be cute once the baby is born but are just annoying now.

These days, when she wiggles her foot between my bottom two ribs and moves it all around, I don't think, "awww, how sweet; the miracle of life blossoming in my womb..."

My thoughts are more along 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers' lines.

She's just so big and strong. When she gets the hiccups I can't concentrate on anything except not peeing in my pants. I can't wait to meet her so I can start enjoying all her little movements instead of dreading them.

The pattern of my last few weeks has been like this:

Friday: The doctor says, "you'll have her this weekend"
Saturday-Monday: I try as hard I can to have a baby.
Tuesday: I'm exhausted and pissed off, but don't throw in the towel.
Wednesday: I make peace with not ever having the baby. Decide to invest in more maternity clothes.
Thursday: Still semi-peaceful, but looking forward to my Dr's appointment tomorrow.

and on Friday it starts all over again. I know my OB means well, but she's succeeded in making me feel like a big failure for not having a baby by now. I'm still a week from my due date, and lots of women go two weeks past their due dates before they're induced. Three weeks seems like a really long time, but it's not. I can make it. Please just don't keep asking me if I've had the baby yet. I promise- I'll let you know.

Maybe I'll send you an email. Thanks to Lazlo the Hacker (and whichever of our hapless neighbors is unwittingly sharing their wireless internet) I am now posting from the comfort of my own home. When I accused Lazlo of stealing, he, the seminarian, explained the situation like this: "It's like sneaking our clothes into the washing machine along with one of our neighbors, only it's a really BIG washing machine, and they won't notice..." He's taken more ethics classes than me, so I guess that makes him the expert.