Are you drinking 1% because you think you're fat?

Tomorrow Lazlo and I supposedly get to meet the doctor. Woo-hoo! The mysterious doctor I've heard so much about but never actually seen. I have a long list of things to ask him about, and he's going to do an ultrasound to see if Wren's head is too big to be born in the usual way. Here's hoping Wren has a nice tiny-tiny head. I'm not totally convinced I'll see the Doctor. I hope the nurses at the clinic aren't just building me up to tear me down. They seem to enjoy that kind of thing a little bit.

Don't get me wrong- I love the nurses! The nurses are great... with their constant urine sample solicitations, and repeated requests that i RETAKE the tuberculosis test because they lost the form with my negative results on it...

Also, over Christmas I gained 6 pounds, instead of the recommended 2, so no more 2% milk for me. Or juice. I'm not supposed to "drink my calories." I feel like, at the clinic, I should get a medal for wearing -actual- maternity clothes, rather than the more popular torn A-shirt, unbuttoned cut-offs approach to pre-natal style. Not to mention the fact that I'm not on crack. Maybe they should let the nutritionist concentrate on some of the more extreme cases. It feels like getting a parking ticket when there's aggravated assault going on across the street.

I guess I'm just bitter because I already feel a little bit like a tug-boat when I walk around. I kind of sway side-to-side, and although I don't say "toot-toot," I do sort of grunt when I try to stand up. I was hoping the nurses would just be nice and tell me how svelte and trim I've been looking.

Too bad about the creepy-ass prenatal yoga video I got from my mom for Christamas. It was supposed to get me in shape, but instead it just creeps me out. This woman in a turban talks about how my left leg might be harder to bend because it's ruled by the moon, and tells me to visualize squatting to give birth in the forest, surrounded by tree-spirits, woodland creatures, and midwives. Please, if you see my mom, don't tell her I don't like it. It was really sweet of her.