cancelbots

Lazlo and I just got our new cell phones, and while reviewing the terms, we noticed that our phones are not insured against damage by "cancelbots." I'm tempted to stock up on propane and water, board up my windows with plywood and wait out the coming cancelbot invasion. Now might not be the time to travel cross-country.

In twenty years of treking through the backwoods of East Texas, swimming creeks, wading swamps, fishing and hiking in abandoned logging cuts, I never once got a tick. It's a testament to the true suckiness of north carolina that the state is so infested with ticks. My doctor told me to mark my calendar and watch for Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever. Is this a joke? In addition to cancelbots I have to worry about Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever. I could ask Dick and the rest of the hillbillies, it sounds like something they'd definitely know about, but I like to forestall a moonshine induced gropefest whenever possible.

Every mom I work for is pretty frantic. Cole's mom insists on strip tick searches (which is pretty confusing to Cole) and calls me at home to talk about a woman in her neighborhood with lyme disease. I'm officially banned from taking 6 mo Eric under any trees because I've found 4 (FOUR) ticks during diaper changes. Ramona is the only safe one, thanks to the vet-sanctioned tube of gunk I put on her back last night. Since then it's been a constant battle to keep her off the furniture. A battle I finally lost after I woke up to find her rubbing the pesticides all over Lazlo's pillow. I'm going to turn it inside out and hope he doesn't notice the smell. At least he won't get fleas and ticks.