three fridays ago (July 6th) i came home after picking up some hours and was on my way to my housemate kate's birthday party and i find a package addressed to me. on the side is scrawled "to the davatron". i immediately know it's from my millionaire friend thinking that he sent me another t-shirt or something cool like that.

i take the package into my room and open it to find a bunch of wadded up paper. i dig through the paper and there staring me in the face is something i couldn't have expected in a million jillion gazillion years....