halloween 2003 with boo radley (5.3MB)

i didn't celebrate halloween this year (long story), so i thought i'd give you a blast from the past - i present to you halloween2003! that boo radley is a crafty character!!

after many hours of grueling email responses, i've decided to comprise this post in order to respond to the many questions about what my gym is like....

my gym is one of two in our town. . . the other one has a month long initiation process and is like five times more expensive... the gym i joined is pretty hotel gym-ish. with it's color coordinated purple coverings on all the equipment, it looks like a circa nineteen nineties mcdonald's dining area.

it's just your average gym, but they don't have the western standards like a barbell. no barbell or curling iron in the whole entire facility. these have all been "replaced" by machines. and when i say machines i really mean machines. the new "bench press" machine is shaped like the japanese classic anime, AstroBoy!

then there's the Hello Kitty! dumbbells. i knew she has taken over the country way before i got here... but this sort of blows me away. it's really rather emasculating to be sitting in front of a mirror and trying to focus on my manly muscles while bringing up these rather large 5kg plastic hello kitty heads up to your chest.

the kero kero keroppi leg training machine is something that i have decided not to do. instead i have chosen to use the exercise bike which is just like any other exercise bike except it has a basket on the front of it just like a normal japanese granny bike. there's also a bell to ring at people. . . this is bizarre. i asked about it and apparently, "since the bike is not moving it's not used for warning someone your coming or for saying hi, it's more like a communication device to say 'i'm in cardiac arrest'."

i don't use the treadmill because of my flat feet. but i wouldn't anyway. too much dog sweat. that's right. people bring their dogs in a run them on the treadmill. they even have a little miniature tread mill for small dogs. so you and your dog can run side by side and watch food programs on TV.

side note for the TV: the other day while working out, i watched a TV show where this woman cried over fried beefsteak. and with every bite she kept churning out more tears. her boyfriend got accepted to cooking school, you see, and this was his gift to her. so this pretty girl sat crying over a deliciously prepared (and fried) steak. and her portrayal of a girl crying over food was reminiscent of high school theater. TV here is piss.

all in all, my gym is just like your normal (hotel) gym... with 4 to 5 trainers around at all times... wearing Power Ranger outfits. i think it just enhances "the workout energy". as if, at any point during the workout, japan could be attacked by monsters and we should all be in our best physical shape to ward them off.

one time, Ultraman, the trainer who dances by himself was smiling at me while i was checking my fat in the mirror. my spidey-sense started going off... if i've made myself clear. then he calls me over and sticks me on this machine to measure my body fat. according to the chart (probably developed for Japanese people in pre-war Japan) i was just above the body fat check - this message delivered to me by the prophet pikachu, the scale - but then i asked him about all these numbers he entered and he somehow tricked the machine into thinking that my clothes weighed like five pounds. needless to say, pikachu underestimated me on that turn. thanks for nothing Ultraman!

so... it's just your normal gym really... but like a hotel gym. and i pay money for it and don't get lodging. all in all, enjoyable.

oh. and then there's the kids. the "fitness room" is adjacent to a dance/aerobics/gymnastics multi-purpose room. i think every kid in my town is enrolled as they all seem to want to come and stare at the large white man lifting weights. though it seems nice that your fan club could be around you all the time, at a place like the gym - which in my opinion exists because of insecurity - it sucks to have a jillion kiddos watching your every repetition.

ok. that's all. enjoy..

the other day, the first day back in the gym i was trying out the new program's cardio routine. intense running (in my flat feet's case, biking) that manually super-compresses the "hill" setting into a 20 minute/4 mountain heart attack. literally! i was on the bike - the peak of my course - the final summit - and my pulse hits 176 (that's high!) and the bike shuts down and the machine stops dead... in order to stop me from dying. i won't lie. it was scary. and my chest kind of hurt afterwards. maybe i should see a doctor. but yeah. the truth is probably that i was working too hard, ignorant to my potential versus the machine/program's demand.

so exercise, it's going well. somedays i lose weight. somedays i gain. bizarre really. the other day, Ultraman - who you'll find out about in another post - showed me an exercise for my buttcheeks (since one of my students commented on my "large ass" i've been self-conscious). well, as i was doing it - in order to "check" if the procedure was going properly he touched my butt cheek... and smiled. totally copped a feel. yay for homophobia!

it's amazing how i want years of fat and neglect on my body to be gone in a couple of weeks of "giving it a shot" [insert spiritual principle number one]. i mean, i have in the past "given it a shot", but that little superficial effort could never account for all those cans and cans of pringles i ate during junior high.

as of this month i am an official card carrying member of the local gym in my town. in july, i went there for three weeks straight (almost every day) and planned on joining - but with a busy August and September (China) i sort of bailed on my contract... sound familiar? but now i'm back in the gym. pumping iron, different weight program even. me and my flat feet are trying hard.

i've already gotten one comment on my weight-loss... well, it wasn't to me exactly, but filtered... "did dave lose weight!?" the message said. yatta!

well... as you can see. this is a series. i'll post more, non-sequentially on it. after all, being healthy is the America.

so at a meeting on thursday i was offered a contract for the year 8.2005 ~ 8.2006. you will notice that this is almost 10 months prior to when that contract begins. i'm only 2.45 months into my first contract and i'm having to commit to (from now) 22 more months of Japan (on the JET program). holy cow. if i stay the next year and save the ridiculous money i make, i could buy AOL/Time-Warner. ridiculous.

so, at least i know i'm not fired. i'm doing an alright job. or maybe it's just that it's cheaper to keep me in town than to import a new me.

alas... the decision is on the table. 22 more months? millions of yen at stake! it's a lot for my little two pounds of brain matter to process. lots of naps involved i hope. but i know this. tomorrow i will enjoy some turkey and celebrate Copy-Cat Canadian Thanksgiving! yee-haw. well... until then, i have millions of posts on the back burners.... get ready!