i'm sick. i haven't been sick in awhile. not since i got a sunburn that made me almost throw up (last summer). its kind of crappy. that room spinning and snotty stomach feeling. i don't think its that its that bad. but i may go home at lunch, i'm not sure. i don't know how i'm gonna stay up all night tonight...somehow i will i guess. i fell asleep at like 1030pm last night...then i woke up this morning at 7 and was pretty well rested but confused as hell. this morning i was the most confused i've been in a long time - i had no idea what was going on. like was it really 7am? and was i really awake? why am i awake? what was that dream about? why is it sunny? was i supposed to be at work? what day is it? am i late for work? did i shower last night? where are my covers? these answers started coming to me, but it was a euphoric amnesia in the baddest way. like LSD, but i haven't tried acid so i have no idea if that's a good analogy. then on my way out of my house, after going back in the house and up all its stairs to find my man-purse, i hit my head on the ceiling going down the stairs. that just kind of secured this morning as being a bad morning...but i prayed it through...and morning edition kept me company on the way to work.

i'm now hunkered into my headphones because my co-cubie is on phone duty again. bluaah. i want to vomit. i better get back to work. i hope you're not as sick as i am today, later.

on yesterday. that little blog session kept me up a little last night thinking and then i was late to work this morning. i've gotten a lot of good revelation on it from God. i haven't so much come up with this complete guide to what love is, because i'm not sure that it can exist, but i can say that i realized a lot of what's going on in my head. so i'm a little more upbeat today than say 2am last night.

here's a funny story. my boss the last two days (not today because she's super busy) she's come in and raised the blinds in our little breakroom that sits adjacent to our desk saying, "be on the lookout for any large trucks or anything..." i.e. a truck full of fertilizer. now i'm thinking to myself: either she's A) Super Paranoid, and she's getting her Homeland on about code orange..or B) She Knows Something. the latter is kind of scary. she sites how she once had a shady guy come in here and case the joint before talking with her...then he didn't ask any questions about admissions. the developing conspiracy theorist in me wonders if she's getting emails from the top-down about a possible attack. and her not raising the blinds both deflates and supports my suspicion. could the GIAC be a source of attack!? could i be at risk!? is there no security in the homeland!? does Tom Ridge know!? proabably not, but its neat to fake it

i'm trying popularize the making of the word "homeland" a verb relating to homeland security. i.e. "you see that girl the other night? she wouldn't give me her digits, she was homelandin'!!" or if you're a nerd, "i'm homelanding my MySQL database from possible cyber attacks." ok. i'm gonna get my homeland on so my boss doesn't catch me again on the internet.

i'm up at the office. its 1am. i haven't been here all night, no way. i went to worship practice for sunday morning and rocked out. i like to play bass y'all. we rocked this one song out, no kidding, it was bad freaking A for a church song. then we, a large group of people, went to a movie. we saw just married. its a little bit more than you'd expect from this kind of movie. you know the genre. suprisingly, it kept me laughing the whole time. the whole movie got me thinking about love actually...not so much the movie, but what people said coming out of the movie. and it seems to me i have a different view on love than most people. i can't explain it. i'm more romantic. and maybe that's a fantasy that developed by watching my own parents fall out of love. but i'm don't think my brother deals with it like me so much, he's got a stellar relationship with his wife. perhaps it was the age it hit me. 10 years old, parents get a divorce. those are formative years on a kid. gosh, that's a lot more than i wanted to say i think. isn't that the demise of a nation? a whole generation of kids like me, who grow up and have no idea of what relationships are like. in my head (i did it just this evening to NPR) i can attribute a lot of current generational issues to this. well my words are getting all jumbly. and i think i'm over thinking myself, so i'm gonna go now, go to my rad house and sleep and come back here in about 6.5 hours. take care america and God bless. you too, mr.corporate!

props to sean for this amazing link. i think he found me an apartment. its pretty incredible. obviously something we've all wished for, but never could achieve. thanks again sean, you're all i could ask for in a roommate.

speaking of roommates, i think one of my favorite things to do is to come home and play drums and guitar with my roommate peter. we have this really crapped out kit in my house consisting of a kick, snare, out of tune floor and high toms, and a high-hat on substandard high-hat stand (and yes, i do supe up the tempo). no drum throne, so we sit on a pvc bucket. the high-hat also serves as the crash and the ride cymbols. its awesome. we just play around and make little songs that we'll never remember or never play the same. its one of the greatest parts of my week. thanks peter, if you read this. i really enjoy it.

my house is actually an interesting place right now because most of us are dispersing within the next few months or moving on to a new stage of life. i'm going to japan (maybe, mr. consulate), one guy getting married, one guy going to grad school next semester somewhere, one guy getting a job somewhere in the states, one guy recruiting an entirely new group of roommates for next year, one guy turned out to be a family of squirrels and will likely be exterminated, and much much more. i like my house. and we like pizza. quadruple feta in the house!

under the psuedonym "salam pax", there is someone blogging from Baghdad, Iraq. Most people have probably already seen this, but late in the game i pulled it off of memepool today. and appearantly there is some controversy as to whether or not salam pax really exists and whether or not he's blogging from Baghdad. you decide. i don't know about that saddam has a blog. those are just some interesting perspectives for you. you can comment (below) any other cool blogs. i haven't enjoyed any of the corporate ones (i.e. CNN or MSNBC). they're not fo' real. they're by people who don't get blogging.

and maybe i don't get blogging...hm...

this american life had a great story from an ex-marine who was in the gulf war giving his perspective on the first war and now commenting on the TV version of this war. check it out...ok. shock and awe.